i seem to have made a mess of things. but perhaps it's a good mess. or perhaps it's a fun mess. or maybe a wonderful beautiful mess. but that's only if i'm a really lucky girl. and i think we all know i am not a very lucky girl. i think this could turn out to be an ugly mess.
but my life is that of messes, fun or ugly, so it should not be anything new. the last time i started talking like this, about making messes and mistakes with boys and cars, i started smoking, cried for six days straight, and could barely work through the fog i walked through. but this time, there's no tears. there's no fog, and though there are a few cigarettes i don't pick them up in hopes they will somehow get me breathing again. this time, no big deal.
i'm finally taking my own advice.
maybe i'm not a hypocrite anymore.
this time, i can't help being myself. this time, i refuse to hate myself for something happening that i did not intend. this time i don't think it's the end of the world. this time i don't think everything is crashing down. this time i don't think this is the end of a friendship, which last time had me walking around like a tear-soaked zombie craving brains. this time i'll be me. and i'll listen to what i have told so many others and be myself, and the best of myself, and try to help pthers, and try to be better, but i can only try my best.
this feels strange.
it's a wonder what can be accomplished when you listen to yourself.
i skiped french today. i haven't started on my lab term paper.
i am queen procrastinator.
but i don't care.
i'm the happiest i've been in a long
long
long
time.
<3monroe
Monday, October 23, 2006
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"Maybe tomorrow"
Vocals: Emily Curtis
Composing: Yuki Kajiura
--
The moon is gone and the night is still so dark
I'm a little bit afraid of tomorrow
For this day was so long and hard for me
And I've lost some of the things
So far I have trusted
Now I will close my heart and sleep a while
Bless my dream with gentle darkness
Until I could have my strength to wait for the light
Maybe Tomorrow
I've come through some betrayals, some of pains
Some addiction to the love, and some goodbyes
Like you did, like my mother and father did
I will cry a little while and wait for tomorrow
There's no way to be free from the loneliness
It took so long for me to notice
But now I'm on my way to find my light
Maybe this day, maybe tomorrow
I will sleep a while until the dawn wakes me up again
I still believe, come what may
There is no way to be free from love
Deeper we sink in the darkness
Brighter it shines in our hearts
The light of love
The moon is gone and the night is still so dark
I'm a little bit afraid of tomorrow
But I will go
I'll go over
I will go
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